Rithwikipedia

After we covered the assets of Celina Jaitley and Dia Mirza, we did the natural thing.

We wondered, why Rakhi Sawant rolled her 'arse'?

After much investigation, we find it's...

...because her American accent trainer told her to roll her 'R's.

Well, can't blame her for trying to improve! We wish her all the best.

[Written for CircusMouse]

What did they call the nymphomaniac banker?

They called her a f---'ING Veshya'.

Heh! like she cares. She is out there selling selling herself to the bidders. TCS, Wipro, Infy, Capgemini are all in the race. And she seems to have an eye for wealthy Indians too.

[Crossposted]

I am a fan of Amul, as are most of us here. They have this way of coming up with deliciously funny hoardings, they call topicals.

Acting how he does, Sreesanth was bound to get some screen time from them.




After praising his dancing skills (after the six against South Africa)...









...Amul now, tells him to stay calm!





Though many would agree with Amul, they would also accept that this report goes over the top(much like Sree himself), when it says this!

"If Andrew Symonds wasn't such a gentle fellow, India's Shanthakumaran Sreesanth's nose would probably be plastered all over his leering face.

The Hindu and occasionally Christian bowler can thank all his gods that the secular Queenslander is a man of peace and tranquility."

We are a nation of voyeurs. Even so, I never saw India as a place where sexual pleasures were to be found in abundance. Though this could just be the South Indian me, I have my doubts.

Things being as they are, it was natural for me to do what I did when I saw this report. Elbow propped on the table, eyes near the screen, hand on the mouse. Tears of joy streamed down my cheeks as I marveled at how much we Indians have developed in the field of physical intimacies. I heard my notions of Indian sex take a long fall. Thud. Music to my ears.

But such delight was short lived. Of course, such reports are to be enjoyed, never to be taken seriously. Much like ‘Aap Ka Surroor : The Moviee : The Real Luv Story’. Once you leave all logic behind you will revel in the absolute lack of semblance to the real world. Sadly though, you always come back to your senses.

While many would try to tell you about how we are rediscovering the ancient Indian art of being comfortable with their sexuality and with their partners. Let them not fool you. Smallsquirrel(depressing) and GreatBong(more entertainingly so) will tell you the real story.

The report, judging by the usual Indian respect for surveys, must have been a very jolly affair.

“Arey. Tere sirf 2 hi lovers hain. Hah! Mere to 28 hai.[You’ve got only 2 lovers. Hah! I’ve got 28]”

Chuckling within, he writes 34. The other one meanwhile takes sweet revenge as he writes down ‘69’ with vengeance, smiling at his own private joke. Such is life.

Now, as much as you would want me to go on, I have to stop. I can’t go on much longer with all these girls pulling at me, you know. Monica, Pavlina… here I come. And you too Riya..

Update: Ist tguoh tpiyng wehn u hev a hottei on yuor lap. In'st it?

Update: Sepiamutiny has its say.

James W. Michaels was one of the senior most journalists in the business. After a US Army stint in the second world war, he set up the New Delhi bureau of United Press Intl. Following which he moved on to Forbes, where he stayed on for 45 years.

He was the first to report on the assassination of Mahatma Gandhi. This is ranked among the top 100 greatest news reports of all time. He passed away on the eve of Gandhi Jayanti.

In this interview with Outlook(2001) he spoke on India.

About the growth of India so far, which by what he says, was unexpected for many. -

"...I think most of us who were observing it then thought the country would break up, and that parts of it might revert to some kind of totalitarian rule. But out of that has developed a functioning democracy, a country that has had good economic growth—though not as good as one would have liked—and it takes its place among the leading nations of the world. So that's not bad, considering the inauspicious beginnings."

What is to be noted, though, is what he says about Nehruvian Socialism, which pretty much defined the way our economy behaved until recent times. Only after the 1991 reforms did things even begin to look up.

"...Nehru, though we loved him and admired him at the time, was probably the worst disaster to ever hit India, at least in economic terms. (In India Unbound, by Gurcharan Das), it's said that Nehru was basically a Brahmin snob, and he did not like business people. Instead of the government getting out of the way and letting the market allocate business resources, the government did it. And the result was an incredible waste of resources.The way to fight poverty is not by chopping the pie in smaller pieces but figuring out how to make a bigger pie." [Emphasis mine]

The government still gets in the way and the bigger pie many times never makes it to the oven. Thanks to the regulations.

"...what would've happened if Nehru hadn't been affected with this socialism. Rajagopalachari didn't want the government to get involved (with the economy), he thought the American model was right for India. And Sardar Patel also did not want all this socialism. But south India got marginalised in the early days. So Nehru did whatever he wanted."

After all these years, we still haven't learned enough.

We have seen much rain and thunder these days in Surat.

Would it have something to do with the success of 'Chaac de India'? We wonder.

Lord Chaac, like all Gods, is sensitive about usage of his name. SRK & Co. shall repent in Mayan hell, where the Chaac sings 'Aashiq Banayaaa..' through his long pendulous nose.

[cross posted on circusmouse]

As much as I like our ex-president for the great things he has done, including funky hairdos, making nuclear bombs and writing books(in decreasing order of greatness), this post is not about his vision for the superpower that India would be in 2020.

There are certain quaint connections though. He loves the youth of the nation. And I love them even more. Indeed, I am a huge fan of them. They rule. (Wow. It feels good to inflate the ego!). And this is about them.

This is a 'Vision' of '20 20' world cup finals as soaked in by the highly evolved, intellectually superior, all powerful and magnificiently sublime life forms who reside in the hostels of NIT, Surat.(Seriously, this does feel good!)



The Match. House-full.
We won.
The discussions would no doubt follow.....and the game would be torn apart into little pieces and put under a microscope.
Awards Ceremony. House-notsofull.

Every great story has a certain someone in pain. MNH is our man. Firmly seated cross-legged he quietly contemplated his misfortune. He missed the last ball.

The pain.

I know the photos are not good. Also it does no justice to the actual joyous chaos, seconds into the victory. But in my defense, the superior life form that I am(Really, this is so good. I am getting addicted to it), I was actually taking a video which captured the event more juicily.

Meanwhile, the Indian in Mexico, is still in the lead after round 11. He won thrice. Things are looking good.

Can you blame them? Even I used to fight over cartoons. More so when my grandmother wanted to see some serial instead, the actresses of which, were selected solely on their ability to cry.

Only I was 9 then and didn’t burn stuff, kill people, arrest them or fling expletives at Cartoon Network for insulting dear Unicorn, whom I so dearly worship. Nor did I tell them to stop demeaning those aliens, who had so generously given me my superpowers.

I just let them draw whatever they wanted to.

In the dangerously cricket infected times and regions we live in, may I point you to an Indian winning elsewhere. It might irritate people how I even mention chess when I should be talking about kiwis, tigers and kookaburras. But I am not a huge fan of animals. Much less of birds. I do like chicks though. But of a different kind.

It pains me, just as it does SK, how the media hugely disregards chess. Especially when Anand seems to be on the way to winning the World Chess Championship at Mexico. He has won twice, and is in the solo lead now.

P.S. The games are webcasted live here.

Life has a way of throwing questions at us which we might not want to answer, or have no idea how to. The skill to survive in such times could be life-saving.

This being an art form, can’t actually be taught. Everyone has their own unique style. But the key is in saying unrelated things for sometime till you see the confused expression on the questioner. If he tries to pull out his hair, then you are doing quite well. You might even be named one of the masters.

Definitely, the best way to get good at the technique is to learn it from the masters.

In India(master BP Singhal) and Abroad(video below).

(cross posted on circusmouse.blogspot.com)

Celina Jaitley has landed herself a new job. Its has got something to do with those pyramidal mammaries, is what I hear.



Anyway, we all know, from her previous splendid work, about her undying devotion to the roles she takes up. Rumours are that her overwhelming dedication to the new job, makes her want to become a 'Mummy'.

Anyone wanting to help her in this noble endeavour is requested to contact her soon, as the 'Openings' are limited..

Update: She has yet to come up with the right guy. There is still hope. Who could have guessed the drawbacks of winning sex appeal polls..

(I know this is a pretty old issue. But then so was this post. Its just the usual case of the laziness catching up with my fingers. So, I decided to post it anyway to get things started)

Orkut should be banned. It can be used to spread terrorism, start hate groups and such like. One would think that mankind would stop its own destruction after unleashing upon the peaceful world the phone, postal system and e-mail and thereby taking away precious lives. But we never learn, do we? We continue to destroy ourselves by starting such ‘social’ networking sites.

Whoever raves about free communication being good and encourages it obviously has a grave mental problems. He may ramble something about sharing information and maintaining friendships. How could he even bother about friends on Orkut when he could die in communal riots any minute?

Google personifies hypocrisy. Do no evil. Well, why then do they offer such destructive products like Google search, Blogger, g-talk and Orkut, all of which enable all anti-socials to come together and kill others. They should just stick to more non-evil businesses like incense sticks, cotton candy, rosewater, white skull caps, soft toys and cuckoo clocks?

Indeed lets go ahead and ban all Google products, phones and mobiles too. And while they are at it, they could also censor mail and TV as well. Let us stamp down on all the ways those communal rioters and terrorists can communicate. Let us give peace a chance..

P.S. Of course this is sarcastic. Whoever thinks otherwise is either an idiot or a Shiv Sainik. Or maybe and even more likely so, both. I am a huge fan of Google and am thankful to FSM that such bans aren’t in place. And I think the Mumbai police are fools for filing a case against Orkut instead of Shiv Sena, who created nuisance by breaking cyber cafes and violent beating up of the owners.

I always say that any non-academic pursuit gains force during the tests season. So, with my mid-sems all set to start tomorrow, I got too fed up of my other blog, among other things that I am fed up of, and decided to start a new one. Let the posts begin..