Dear IndiaTV
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Dear IndiaTV,
We are extremely delighted by your entertaining coverage of all that's happening around, or isn't. The other channels just show politicians shouting or throwing around some bundles of notes. Bah, bloody boring, I say! In fact, the guys at Fly You Fools are so happy with your content that they have made this artwork as a tribute.
Your informative programmes have been helpful to the kids here. Thanks to you, they now know that the world will end after 4 years, that there are Suvarna Machhlis and Jaldaityas in the Himalayan waters and that UFOs are hovering around to attack the earth. Of course, they are scared, but the truth just had to be told.
The footage you show is also stunning. Such awe inspiring graphics and deft camerawork! One would almost think that they are clippings of Hollywood movies like Deep Impact, Armageddon etc..
My neighbour's daughter, Champa, just ran away, to live with her lover, if only for the 4 years that remain. Only after the astrologer on your channel approved the alliance, mind you. The Guru helpfully noted that Rahu and Shani were in the 8th house and since they seemed happy together, they were unlikely to come to Champa's house - the 12th one on Daruwala street. Practical that the couple is, they have also stocked up little rockets. They plan to fire it off into space to attack or communicate with the aliens, as need be. We wish them a happy married life. If only the world wasn't destined to end four years hence, it could have been a long one too. Alas, it is not to be.
I wanted to send this mail at 8 o'clock today and become eligible for all the cosmic goodwill waiting to be bestowed on 08/08/08. But sadly all the auto drivers had gone to see the latest image of Sai Baba that appeared on Mukhiya-ji's wall. So I couldn't make it to the cyber-cafe in time. Well, I take solace in the fact that somewhere in West Central Africa it is 8 p.m as I post this. May the Baba bless us all.
Had met some of your reporters there. Strange though, I had seen them lurking around in the village yesterday night. They had some paint bottles too. I wonder why they were laughing so much.
Anyway, keep up the good work. Continue entertaining us. Thanks.
Regards
Bholaram
(On behalf of all the villagers of Teeveeneleliyahumrajaan)
A letter to the un-boring yet not-so-interesting.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
I get the feeling that my relative silence and laconic replies, in get-togethers of recent times is being misconstrued as lack of friendliness, or possibly as hostility. The truth, of course, is far from it.
These occasions brought together husbands, wives, mothers and fathers, the roles of people I don't quite identify with, at least not yet. They sat together and dicussed, expectedly, family matters, childbirths, weddings, teething troubles and such like. I would be retarded not feel the odd one out. For obvious reasons, these are matters alien to me. And I am sure an inappropriate response - the kind I take sadistic pleasure in - wouldn't have been appreciated.
Such as it is, the least I can do and the maximum that you can ask of me, would be beatific smiles, intermittent understanding nods, and answers to direct questions. Smile, nod, smile, answer, nod, nod.. would be a nice routine.
What would be a cruel joke, is to ask me to participate. For verbose though I am, in certain like-minded circles, what should I do here? Make up stories about my girlfriend's first child and her divorce from the drug addict?
This is not a fault of yours, its just who you are now. Indeed it was a learning experience, observing as I was, in amused detachment.
Sincerely,
Bored.
